Anglo-Saxon Attitudes

"He's an Anglo-Saxon messenger," said the King, "and those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes."

This is a yank's eye view of England and English culture.  Rule, Britannia.... 

This blog is one "sub-weblog" of our main blog, The Flatland Almanack.  Please do visit us there! I will try to post a note on this topic every week or so, but The Flatland Almanack is my daily blog.  This one is for longer pieces.

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"What is a Primary?" You Ask

This one's for you, Mr  Rumcove!

Rumcove plaintively asked  during a telephone chat last week, "What the fuck's a primary?" Where to begin?  I told him I'd get back to him.

Luckily, BBC News has published What is a primary?  at its website here.  Here's a 1 minute, 10 second video report for anyone interested who doesn't understand the process. 

Best Answerphone Message Ever: Just One of the Reasons to Love "Murphy's Law"

The Jekyll thing was exciting in that sick adrenaline-fueled way that leaves you feeling exhausted and a bit in need of a good brain bleaching afterward, but my real James Nesbitt love is reserved for him as Murphy .  Yet another reason you need---or should have had---BBC America.   That said, he should have had the Golden Globe for Jekyll.  I didn't care for it, but he was amazing.  I'd watch it again if I could stomach the violence.  Much as I love Jim Broadbent and liked Longford, that must have been a relatively easy task compared to what Nesbitt had to do, surely (?) 

Anyway, some favorite fragments from Murphy's Law:

Here's the website for the show.  There are plenty more clips on YouTube, but as it happens, the answering machine was exactly the bit I was looking for. 

What American woman doesn't love a Northern Irish accent? My husband can do a kickass Nesbitt imitation and for awhile we had this exact message on our answering machine, till my mother and a couple of my colleagues objected....

An Englishman Weighs in on this Whole God Business

Having badly offended a British reader who proved too timid to leave a functioning email address, I was naturally cheered to receive the following comment on my post concerning this Yank's perception of British religion (""God is an Englishman. (He lives upstairs---but we don't mention him).")

Naturally I was pleased to have someone say something nice about my maligned piece, but I am posting it as an entry because it perfectly expresses the sentiments I've heard over and over from Brit friends and family, including my pal Mr Rumcove, my co-blogger (at Buck Naked Politics) Cockney Robin, and my husband Nicholas (A Gentleman's Domain).

"A slightly senile uncle,who lives in the attic." Possibly the most perfect description of the english attitude toward church and religion i have come across,bearing in mind I am one of the ninety four percent of the non-godbothering and didn`t find your article boring in the least,quite the contrary.

I think our ambivalent attitude to religion derives from "god" given plagues, religious wars that made merrie england resemble the modern day middle east and a not unreasonable belief that someone who tells you they know what god thinks is probably lying, and trousering what lands on the collection plate. God has been used against the British, papal control from Rome, monarchs after that professing god-given authority and then Cromwell's insane religious dictatorship, the equal of anything that might happen in Iran or Saudi.

We have even used god to beat ourselves up in modern times,the secular battles that have scarred Northern Ireland are only now abating and much work still needs to be done. I deplore the fact that Tyndall was burnt for printing the bible in English,but at least that allows it to be read at home, in private, out of harm's way, where it should be. Charles Darwin was voted in 4th place in a top 100 Briton's poll,creationism will have an uphill struggle in Britain.  (Chris H of Coventry)

After I wrote asking if I might quote him, he emailed the following additional qualifier.

I should have included the terrible Protestant/Catholic murders of the Henry VIII and Elizabeth 1st(my favourite monarch) periods,and also noted  the "scientific and industrial god" of Newton and the industrial revolution where god was envisioned as a "cosmic clockmaker" essentially constructing the universe but allowing us to make the best of the resources provided.

Harry Enfield, The Indispensable Mr. Cholmondely-Warner (on "Conjugal Relations)," & the Late Great Douglas Adams

In England, Harry Enfield----tragically, you may know him only as the voice of the Travelocity Gnome--- had a hit comedy show (described in more detail here) in the 1990's which he---supported by the great Kathy Burke and the equally great Paul Whitehouse---starred as a variety of characters who very quickly evolved into English comedy classics, which is how I came to know and love him.   You can rent Harry Enfield and Chums from Netflix, and you really, reallly should.

Here's one sample recommended by my internet friend Chris H.   And it is indeed one of my favorites:  the sex education video to end all sex education videos, newsreel style (circa 1940).  In this educational video, Harry Enfield is Mr. Grayson.  Learn all you need to know about the "horrid beastliness" marriage requires:

 

Steven Coogan: "Is This Cool?" Something You Wouldn't See Over Here

I love Steve Coogan.  Alan Partidge, Duncan Thickett, Tony Ferrino,  Paul Calf,  Pauline Calf,  Tristram Shandy....I don't care.   I will watch anything with Steve Coogan in it that I can get my hands on.

He's the world's greatest character (or caricature) actor.  This is a love I've not tried to explain or share with American friends.  I am afraid they won't get Partridge & Co.  Certainly the ones who find Brit comedy "mean-spirited" won't get Partridge.

Anyway.  I was curious when I saw footage on You Tube that we won't be getting over here.  Here's Steve Coogan from a show called "The Day to Day."

Is this cool?

Yes.  Yes, it is,  Steve Coogan.

The Last Hangman: A Must-See for the Dedicated Anglophile

Cross-Posted at JUST EAT THE DAMN PEACH. | If you're not in need of light-hearted fun or something upbeat to take your mind off this, that, or the other, I would strongly recommend this film: the misleadingly titled  The Last Hangman, in which the always extraordinary Timothy Spall plays Britain's Albert Pierrepont, the most humane hangman in history.  (The trailer for the film is here).  It unlocks a certain small grey window on a certain period of British history and a certain aspect of British history and culture.  Besides:  Timothy Spall. 

Why Everyone in the Whole USA Needs BBC America: Life on Mars

Read more here.....

"King Arthur"

(Cross-posted to just Eat the Damn Peach)  I watched this film over and over.  You could say I'm an addict.  And yet:  this is not the best film I've ever seen.  Or put it this way:  I have my own ideas of the King Arthur legend, all derived from "The Once and Future King," and they are different from this.   Here's what IMDb says:

Based on a more realistic portrayal of "Arthur" than has ever been presented onscreen. The film will focus on the history and politics of the period during which Arthur ruled -- when the Roman empire collapsed and skirmishes over power broke out in outlying countries -- as opposed to the mystical elements of the tale on which past Arthur films have focused. Written by Scott Summerton

Why You Need BBC America NOW: Gordon Ramsay + Jonathan Ross = AWESOME

It's a heaping spoon full of awesome.  To see and hear for yourself, click this link.

No Soup for London's Homeless?

Courtesy of a bit of a push from my co-blogger (at Buck Naked Politics)  Cockney Robin, I wrote this post on a recent push by a Conservative MP to ban soup kitchens from Westminster.  Scrooging London's Homeless:  No Soup for You!

Morris Dancing & the Full Monty

(Cross-posted in The Flatland Chronicles) I always thought it was a May Day fertility dance dating back to pagan times, but Wikipedia begs to differ.   Shut up, Wikipedia. 

Brilliant. 

Note to the Brits:  there are some traditions you must NEVER allow to die out.

I don't know why my mind went there today.  This is "Essex based 'Cotswold' morris side dancing at Great Warley Spring Fayre on Headley Common, 26th May 2007 (near Brentwood, Essex, UK)."  Hurray! 

I like to imagine them practicing it.  And I like to imagine the recruiting process.   Someone should make a film of it, similar to "The Full Monty"  (my all-time favorite film).

Spongebob: "Sailor Mouth" (the British parody)

CROSS-POSTED (ANGLO-SAXON ATTITUDES).  The British parody of "Spongebob" adds a whole new dimension to the cartoon.  Far from challenging this as "fair use"Viacom really need to get JokeComics4001 on board.  This Stephen is kind of a genius.  Here's my favorite one:  "Sailor Mouth", complete with British swear words.  (Not for faint-hearted Americans)

• "Sailor Mouth" Part 1
• "Sailor Mouth" Part 2

• "Jelly Fish" Part 1
• "Jelly Fish" Part 2

There are lots of others.  These are my favorites.

My only quibble is with the voice of "Squidward."  I think Stephen made a mistake making him American.  He's got that British thing of pronouncing "th" alternately as "v" or "f"  which is kind of a dead giveaway.  Besides, they lost that languid, Squidward-might-be-gay ennunciation that so exercises "Focus on the Family" and similar groups.  I was also a little sad that he got rid of the real Mr Crab's fake west-country accent (the American idea of one).   Still:  A genius genius.

And only 17, judging by this.  Blimey!

 

International Relations: W Royally Entertains the Queen (and The Daily Mail).

 

Shades of Martin Chuzzlewit!.   W winks---yes, winks--at the Queen at his very first white tie white house gala.  To read my note, go to Versus/Reversus.

 

The Sour Taste of Diplomacy? Brits "Humiliated" by Iran?

It beats the hell out of me why, when an international incident and the need for military action is averted, all the Brits join with American neocons and hawks in bemoaning the rancid aftertaste.  The biggest problem in the world today is men who STILL think that the best way to deal with a swaggering schoolyard bully is to drop bombs on civilians or engage in some sort of counter-swagger.  Why?  Why?  I mean, there is definitely a time and a place for intervention, but Iran's capture of British sailor and speedy return of them unharmed wouldn't seem to be the time OR the place. 

Who cares if he pretended to be doing Britain a favor?  Does anyone with a brain really believe that this was the case?  I mean, JESUS.  Anyway, I was pretty sheepish at having rejoiced prematurely that the whole farce had ended without blood shed, and I said so here.  Geoffrey Wheatcroft at Slate schooled me in the correct, dour view.

I felt better when I saw Mickey Kaus (also at Slate) shared my bemusement.  "Didn't Iran blink?" he asked.  Seemed so.  Seemed so.

Finally, my husband (also a Brit) weighed in with his own opinion (and dour view).  In addition to feeling humiliated because Blair didn't engage in a more "robust" display of swagger, he was also disappointed at the deportment of the hostages.  Colditz, John McCain, duty to escape, a sense of dignity:  his disappointment, and my continuing efforts to understand, are all discussed here.

More Lessons in British Culture from an American in England. Instructive!

More funny if rather unkind observations on English culture by Jon Tillman....

As a follow-up to his previous note, "Thirteen Things I Have Learned About America from the British," Jon Tillman has now posted "Thirteen Things I Thought I Knew About England."  Brits and Anglophiles should check it out.  Two of the things he has noted particularly matched my own experience, so I have quoted them here.  (Just because I love the English in general doesn't mean I don't notice things about them I don't like).  But most of the experiences he has had are not the same as the ones I have had.

[quote begins from Jon Tillman, "Thirteen Things I Thought I Knew About England"]

• 2.  Multiculturalism: As an American there is a special type of shame we carry for our recent openly racist past and the lingering inequalities in our society. I expected the UK to be something of a model for racial/cultural integration and harmony, especially given how much the British press seems to go on about being the first to abolish the slave trade and how many languages are spoken in London. What I wasn’t prepared for was that in all of those 300 or so languages, the most oft-uttered phrase in London is “Fuck off back home, then!”...

• 4.  Anti-Americanism: ...I expected quite a bit of overt anti-American sentiment, and all I have encountered is bemusement and disbelief at the idea that someone would voluntarily move out of the States and into the UK, and London at that! Of course, there could be tons of anti-Americanism thrown my way by cultured Brits that I, as an American, am too daft to notice, British disapproval consisting mostly of thinking nasty thoughts about someone while not looking at them or changing one’s facial expression.

[quote ends]

One American's British Education: 13 Valuable Lessons (at Jon Tillman.Com).

This is the most interesting entry I read in last week's meme game, the Thursday 13.  It's called "Thirteen Things I Have Learned About America from the British," and it's posted at Jon Tillman.Com ("Part of the Problem Since 1976"). 

Jon Tillman is living in London and many of his notes address his culture shock.  As he's hanging out with Essex people, he's probably getting a bit of a warped view, particularly about the accent.  (PS.  This is straight from Mr Rumcove, who is from Essex).   Cf. his item 8:

[quote begins from "13 Things I Have Learned About America from the British" at Jon Tillman.com]

8.  Americans Butcher “The Queen’s English”: For instance, did you know that there is no hard ‘A’ sound in the English language. Well, there certainly isn’t in the UK. Nor is the ‘TH’ sound pronounced as you do. It is more of a ‘VV’ sound, as in “I can’t be bovvered to learn to enunciate.

[quote]

As I'm on record as saying I prefer an estuary accent to any accent on the planet (to my husband's disgust, since he speaks only the finest Public School).   And I have to differ with Mr. Tillman about the  hard "A" sound;  just ask one of them to pronounce "taco." 

I have enjoyed reading his politely restrained exasperation with the British in their homeland.  As I'm in a mixed marriage with a Brit, and have a British stepdaughter in her twenties, I have long since adapted to the ways in which they are not at all---AT ALL---like you and me.  We are divided by more than a common language.

The Mil Millington Website and Related Millington-Based Goodness.

If you call yourself an Anglophile, test out your understanding of the English and your tolerance for the British love of light-hearted irony even in the most sacred relationships by reading what remains of columnist/author Mil Millington's  webpage, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About.  But first, to keep from making yourself look foolish by firing off an angry response or a lengthy screed of relationship advice, read my comments in "The Flatland Chronicles" here. 

The Flatland Almanack Honors List: Ricky Gervais.

Ricky Gervais is one of my heroes.  You can't help sensing if you're paying attention that behind the cherubic smile and squeaky giggle beats a dark, cynical spirit and that behind that is a mind with many a wry twist and black depth.

The man's view of the world is dark, but his gift for skewering pretenses and pretensions, or tearing down the defenses that people place between themselves and too clear a knowledge of themselves and others, is unerring.  He makes me think of this quote from Mark Twain:

I have not read Nietzsche or Ibsen, nor any other philosopher, and have not needed to do it, and have not desired to do it; I have gone to the fountainhead for information - that is to say, to the human race. Every man is in his own person the whole human race, with not a detail lacking; I have studied the human race with diligence and strong interest all these years in my own person; in myself I find in big or little proportion every quality and every defect that is findable in the mass of the race.... What a coward every man is! And how surely he will find it out if he will just let other people alone and sit down and examine himself. The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in the procession but carrying a banner.

In the BBC America promos for The Office (UK version) a man said, "If you don't know someone like David Brent, the chances are, you are David Brent."   We are all  David Brent.   This is the real theme of  Extras, in which  Gervais as the long-suffering  Andy Millman endures the pretenses and posturings of a world full of celebrated Brents.

MY NOTE ON RICKY GERVAIS AND "EXTRAS" IS HERE.

The Flatland Almanack Honors List: A Tribute to Simon Schama.

    I have referred a number of times to Simon Schama's A History of Britain.  Try as you might, you will not find a history series that succeeds in the same fashion in bringing to the past and its people to life.  I haven't seen even fictional treatments of famous events from British history that excite and inspire me in the same fashion as Schama's presentation.

It is an entrancing series.  It makes you understand how---quoting now from Lucky Jim, Kingsley Amis's great comic novel of a failed history lecturer---"properly taught, history could do people a hell of a lot of good."  In all my years of schooling, I have had one professor of history who knew how to teach it.  I didn't like him, but I loved his course. 

The Flatland Almanack Honors List: Emmy Winner Ray Winstone.

= Ray Winstone, the charismatic actor, recently won the international Emmy for best actor based on his role in Vincent.  We are Winstone fans from way before, but we're happy to see him properly recognized here in the U.S. 

Well done, Ray Winstone!

FOR A LAUDATORY NOTE, JUMP TO JUST EAT THE DAMN PEACH, MY TELEVISION BLOG.

Good Old Norman the Conqueror vs. William the Bastard

While considering Simon Schama's History of Britain in my television/entertainment blog, "Just Eat the Damn Peach," I was reminded of my archenemy "Norman the Conqueror," who got me ridiculed mercilessly in a college European history course because I referred to him thus throughout an examination.  I've hated "William the Bastard"  (it's not an insult, it's what the Saxons called him) ever since.  It was one of the most humiliating moments in my otherwise exemplary University career.

All right, I know now that it is "William", not "Norman."  It's a mistake anyone could make.  In fact, I think "Norman the Conqueror" needs to be recognized as a reasonable alternative (are you listening, Simon Schama? xxxx). 

Nick, who came 30-something years late to the mockery game didn't agree. 

So prove my point, I've compiled the following references:

[quote from "William the Conqueror Spins in his Grave!" at "The Language Legend", 02.19.2005]

William the Conqueror, leader in 1066 of what came to be known as the Norman Conquest, is himself variously known - as "William the Bastard" [see???] in some historical accounts, and as "Norman the Conqueror" by my 2004 A2 class who were, by their own admission, rather historically challenged! But having been responsible for introducing not only the delights of French cuisine but also its lexicon, beef instead of a slab of cow, I have no doubt The Bastard is spinning helplessly in his grave this week.

[quote ends (emphasis mine)]

I hope he is spinning, the bastard.  But it's not just me and that one history class; no.

[From The Guardian Unlimited,  by Mimi Spencer from July 10, 2005:  Hip, cool, and cold] 

During the exam season, students across the land were mainlining smoked mackerel, cranberries and Pro-Plus in a bid to remember when Norman the Conqueror got here.

[quote ends (emphasis mine)]

Okay; it is The Guardian Unlimited, so I'm sure the above was included in a spirit of mockery at the similarly challenged.  But it proves, doesn't it, that somewhere out there, there is a disposition to think of William the B as Norman the C.   It is a mistake that others, if not perhaps just anyone, could---and do--- make.

Here's a website that acknowledges this, Harbottle's Encyclopedia]:

[quote begins from Kings and Queens of England at Harbottle's Encyclopedia]

Norman the Conqueror  sorry, William the Conqueror The Normans were basically Norsemen who had conquered Normandy. William Duke of Normandy decided he would like a holiday, so he set sail for Hastings with his mates.

[quote ends]

But wait! There's more:

The Flatland Almanack Honors list: Big Love for Gordon Ramsay.

I've actually written quite a few tributes to Gordon Ramsay, but they seemed to belong better in my television blog than here.  Let's face it, Ramsay---consummately Scottish-with-inexplicable-estuary-accent as he is---is a man of the Age.  He belongs wherever he is.

I can't help blogging about his show.  I've created a whole Ramsay-based category. TO JUMP TO THE RAMSAY FILES, CLICK HERE .

The Office (US): A tribute & a retraction.

IMAGE HOSTING BY FLICKR.

I am a die-hard, committed fan of the original British version of The Office. Season 1 of the American version didn't really grab me (though I enjoyed it); the six episodes we had were not enough to distinguish the show and enable it to hit its stride. That happened in Season Two. A full American season enabled the show to break new ground and really showcased the brilliance of these really very different characters.

I said in an earlier note (last summer, I think) that I didn't think that the American version really rose to the level of the British version.  The second season completely changed my mind.

It's a brilliant show that ought to be enjoyed on both sides of the Atlantic, as much for the differences as the similarities. I discuss it here.

The Flatland Almanack Honors List: The Master Chef.

1.  Why I'm Writing This.

Words cannot express my adoration and reverence for Gordon Ramsay.  But I intend to try.

My initial title for this posting was "Gordon Ramsay:  My TV Boyfriend," a bit of humorous hyperbole supported by the traditions that apply at my personal television website.  I couldn't bring myself to use it.  It was clear to me even as I typed that it wouldn't do.  It  lacks reverence and smacks of presumption.  It's the sort of flippant nonesense that gets the bright young things on "Ramsay's Kitchen" called "cows" and "bitches" and things that get bleeped out on my television.

Besides, it's misleading.  My love for Ramsay is untainted by earthly dross.

English food, American tourist (Part 2): English candy

My sister-in-law Sarah ruined American candy for me with two fell sentences.  "All you can taste is sugar," she said.  "It's too sweet."   I'm sure I've heard people say that before, but I guess I never took it in or fully realized the truth of it.  And I had never before had English candy.

Until fairly recently, when I developed a painful and no doubt karmic allergy, my approach to chocolate would have furnished material for any number of Cathy cartoons.  While I've gone through extended chocolate-free periods over the years, the disciplined times have been interspersed with no-holds-barred chocolate binges.

My sister-in-law Sarah ruined American candy for me with two fell sentences.  "All you can taste is sugar," she said.  "It's too sweet."   I'm sure I've heard people say that before, but I guess I never took it in or fully realized the truth of it.  And I had never before had English candy.

Until fairly recently, when I developed a painful and no doubt karmic allergy, my approach to chocolate would have furnished material for any number of Cathy cartoons.  While I've gone through extended chocolate-free periods over the years, the disciplined times have been interspersed with no-holds-barred chocolate binges.

An update on the Cirencester problem.

If the Cirencester town council thinks they can shut down the debate over the correct pronunciation of their town name with this, they have another think coming.  I will never give in.

I get far more hits at my Salon weblog from queries as to "Cirencester pronunciation"  than I do my other topics.  Almost every day some poor soul ends up at my site trying to find out the right way to pro