While considering Simon Schama's History of Britain in my
television/entertainment blog, "Just Eat the Damn Peach," I was
reminded of my archenemy "Norman the Conqueror," who got me ridiculed
mercilessly in a college European history course because I referred to him thus
throughout an examination. I've hated "William the Bastard" (it's not
an insult, it's what the Saxons called him) ever since. It was one of the most humiliating moments in my otherwise exemplary University career.
All right, I know now that it is "William", not "Norman." It's a mistake anyone could make. In fact, I think "Norman the Conqueror" needs to be recognized as a reasonable alternative (are you listening, Simon Schama? xxxx).
Nick, who came 30-something years late to the mockery game didn't agree.
So prove my point, I've compiled the following references:
[quote from "William the Conqueror Spins in his Grave!" at "The Language Legend", 02.19.2005]
William the Conqueror, leader in 1066 of what came to be known as the Norman Conquest, is himself variously known - as "William the Bastard" [see???] in some historical accounts, and as "Norman the Conqueror" by my 2004 A2 class who were, by their own admission, rather historically challenged! But having been responsible for introducing not only the delights of French cuisine but also its lexicon, beef instead of a slab of cow, I have no doubt The Bastard is spinning helplessly in his grave this week.
[quote ends (emphasis mine)]
I hope he is spinning, the bastard. But it's not just me and that one history class; no.
[From The Guardian Unlimited, by Mimi Spencer from July 10, 2005: Hip, cool, and cold]
During the exam season, students across the land were mainlining smoked mackerel, cranberries and Pro-Plus in a bid to remember when Norman the Conqueror got here.
[quote ends (emphasis mine)]
Okay; it is The Guardian Unlimited, so I'm sure the above was included in a spirit of mockery at the similarly challenged. But it proves, doesn't it, that somewhere out there, there is a disposition to think of William the B as Norman the C. It is a mistake that others, if not perhaps just anyone, could---and do--- make.
Here's a website that acknowledges this, Harbottle's Encyclopedia]:
[quote begins from Kings and Queens of England at Harbottle's Encyclopedia]
Norman the Conqueror sorry, William the Conqueror The Normans were basically Norsemen who had conquered Normandy. William Duke of Normandy decided he would like a holiday, so he set sail for Hastings with his mates.
[quote ends]
But wait! There's more:
From the cached page of a website called "Visit Hastings":
[quote begins from "Hastings Marathon Half Map"]:
The race starts on Hastings seafront, then follows the route of Norman the Conqueror towards Battle, round the back of the town, down to the ‘Old Town’ and the fishing village, then back along the seafront to the starting point / finishing line.
[quote ends]
From [cached] E-Zine Articles, an article called "Londoners in the Rain and the Tower of London" by Joy Cagil]:
[quote begins]
Since erecting castles meant marking the Normans’ territory (wild animals come to mind), Norman the Conqueror ordered a castle built by the Thames during the eleventh century to provide a base for his power.
[quote ends]
From a blog called "Shooting Parrots," an entry called "Life's Little Irritants No. 2", dated July 27, 2006]:
[quote begins:]
Norman the Conqueror landed on our shores in ten sixty-six.
[quote ends]
From a website called "Genius Loci: Creative Consultancy from Cornwall"]
[quote begins from their Guest Book]:
Hello, We found your site most interesting. It is our belief Roche Rock is named after a de la Roche who came across from France with Norman The Conqueror and we believe that he changed his name to Tregarrick.
[quote ends]
At a website about "Old Bexley Village":
[quote begins from this site on Old Bexley Village]
Title:
OLD BEXLEY VILLAGE
IN THE GARDEN OF ENGLAND
AS MENTIONED IN THE DOMESDAY BOOK OF NORMAN THE CONQUEROR[quote ends (emphasis mine)]
At a community website for the Channel Islands:
Islanders proudly state that their ancestors were part of the forces of Norman the Conqueror which defeated England in 1066. In fact since around 933, when Rollo's son William Longsword added the islands to the dukedom of Normandy, the inhabitants of these islands have been answerable only to the Duke of Normandy and his successors, the British sovereign.
[quote ends; emphasis mine]
From a website called "Ship of Fools":
[quote begins from 1084 Castleton Methodist, Castleton, Derbyshire, England]:
Castleton's name derives from its most prominent feature, the keep of Peveril Castle, built by the son of Norman the Conqueror. The village is a popular tourist spot in England's Peak District, perfect for walking and caving. There are several caves nearby, one of which is most unforgettably called The Devil's Arse.
[quote ends; emphasis mine]
Again from The Guardian Unlimited, this time in a quote]
["Druidic Doubts Over Stonehenge Tunnel Plan," dated May 5, 2004]:
The Archaeological response is skeptical: "How do you define indigenous with a history like ours?" asks Mr Pitt. "Are we talking about indigenous as being people whose ancestors were here before the invasion of Norman the Conqueror or that of the Vikings? Or maybe the Romans? And how do you ever find that out?"
[quote ends; emphasis mine]
At a site called "Gates to Jewish Heritage":
[quote begins from "February 4, 1656 at "Gates to Jewish Heritage"]:
On February 4, 1656, England permitted Jews to live in England. Jews didn't settle in England in any significant numbers until 1066, when they followed Norman the Conqueror over France.
[quote ends]
In a customer review at Amazon.com of the Clive Owen film, King Arthur:
[quote begins from December 22, 2004 review at Amazon.com, "Setting the Record Straight---finally" by D.W.]
One really should not forget that the warriors from Brittany who sailed with Norman the Conqueror sang and celebrated King Arthur as their hero, someone who had fought to protect the Britons from the invading Saxon hordes.
[quote ends]
Beasant, the surname, in Wikipedia.
[quote begins from December 15, 2006 entry in Wikipedia]
The word byzantius then travelled as a surname to England with Norman the Conqueror in 1066. The Beasants were gardeners in the king's court.
[quote ends; emphasis mine]
Re: A short history of my Walls ancestors:
[quote begins from article as it appeared on December 15, 2006]
There are a two or three theories about where the name Walls comes from. My brother Andrew once told me a story that he had checked out the name and tended towards the view the "they were the illegitimate children of the Baron de La Val who came across to England with Norman in the Conqueror in 1066.
[quote ends (emphasis mine)]
I would submit that "Norman the Conqueror" is far less offensive than "William the Bastard." Didn't poor old Norm suffer enough? If you don't know the answer to that question, check out the fabulous DVD version of Simon Schama's British history lessons and pay close attention to the part about his death. Surely it's time to take a kinder, gentler approach to what Schama referred to (shame!) as "the scary half-skinheads" of the Middle Ages.
I would also point out that a large number of people who have made the same error are English, not yanks like me. I have decided in consequence to adopt "Norman the Conqueror" as my personal form of referencing good old Norm.
I realize that doing so may subject me, for a time, to ridicule. But I am sure that the many, many other people who prefer to think of him as "Good Old Norman the Conqueror" will support me in this decision.
I await their comments in support of this decision.
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