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The British: Not Like You & Me

January 14, 2008

An Englishman Weighs in on this Whole God Business

Metalbutton2 Having badly offended a British reader who proved too timid to leave a functioning email address, I was naturally cheered to receive the following comment on my post concerning this Yank's perception of British religion (""God is an Englishman. (He lives upstairs---but we don't mention him).")

Naturally I was pleased to have someone say something nice about my maligned piece, but I am posting it as an entry because it perfectly expresses the sentiments I've heard over and over from Brit friends and family, including my pal Mr Rumcove, my co-blogger (at Buck Naked Politics) Cockney Robin, and my husband Nicholas (A Gentleman's Domain).

"A slightly senile uncle,who lives in the attic." Possibly the most perfect description of the english attitude toward church and religion i have come across,bearing in mind I am one of the ninety four percent of the non-godbothering and didn`t find your article boring in the least,quite the contrary.

I think our ambivalent attitude to religion derives from "god" given plagues, religious wars that made merrie england resemble the modern day middle east and a not unreasonable belief that someone who tells you they know what god thinks is probably lying, and trousering what lands on the collection plate. God has been used against the British, papal control from Rome, monarchs after that professing god-given authority and then Cromwell's insane religious dictatorship, the equal of anything that might happen in Iran or Saudi.

We have even used god to beat ourselves up in modern times,the secular battles that have scarred Northern Ireland are only now abating and much work still needs to be done. I deplore the fact that Tyndall was burnt for printing the bible in English,but at least that allows it to be read at home, in private, out of harm's way, where it should be. Charles Darwin was voted in 4th place in a top 100 Briton's poll,creationism will have an uphill struggle in Britain.  (Chris H of Coventry)

After I wrote asking if I might quote him, he emailed the following additional qualifier.

I should have included the terrible Protestant/Catholic murders of the Henry VIII and Elizabeth 1st(my favourite monarch) periods,and also noted  the "scientific and industrial god" of Newton and the industrial revolution where god was envisioned as a "cosmic clockmaker" essentially constructing the universe but allowing us to make the best of the resources provided.

December 24, 2007

Morris Dancing & the Full Monty

Textured(Cross-posted in The Flatland Chronicles) I always thought it was a May Day fertility dance dating back to pagan times, but Wikipedia begs to differ.   Shut up, Wikipedia. 

Brilliant. 

Note to the Brits:  there are some traditions you must NEVER allow to die out.

I don't know why my mind went there today.  This is "Essex based 'Cotswold' morris side dancing at Great Warley Spring Fayre on Headley Common, 26th May 2007 (near Brentwood, Essex, UK)."  Hurray! 

I like to imagine them practicing it.  And I like to imagine the recruiting process.   Someone should make a film of it, similar to "The Full Monty"  (my all-time favorite film).

December 22, 2007

Spongebob: "Sailor Mouth" (the British parody)

Goldleaf2

CROSS-POSTED (ANGLO-SAXON ATTITUDES).  The British parody of "Spongebob" adds a whole new dimension to the cartoon.  Far from challenging this as "fair use"Viacom really need to get JokeComics4001 on board.  This Stephen is kind of a genius.  Here's my favorite one:  "Sailor Mouth", complete with British swear words.  (Not for faint-hearted Americans)

There are lots of others.  These are my favorites.

My only quibble is with the voice of "Squidward."  I think Stephen made a mistake making him American.  He's got that British thing of pronouncing "th" alternately as "v" or "f"  which is kind of a dead giveaway.  Besides, they lost that languid, Squidward-might-be-gay ennunciation that so exercises "Focus on the Family" and similar groups.  I was also a little sad that he got rid of the real Mr Crab's fake west-country accent (the American idea of one).   Still:  A genius genius.

And only 17, judging by this.  Blimey!

 

May 08, 2007

International Relations: W Royally Entertains the Queen (and The Daily Mail).

Batiksmall

 

Shades of Martin Chuzzlewit!.   W winks---yes, winks--at the Queen at his very first white tie white house gala.  To read my note, go to Versus/Reversus.

 

April 03, 2007

More Lessons in British Culture from an American in England. Instructive!

Dark_2 More funny if rather unkind observations on English culture by Jon Tillman....

As a follow-up to his previous note, "Thirteen Things I Have Learned About America from the British," Jon Tillman has now posted "Thirteen Things I Thought I Knew About England."  Brits and Anglophiles should check it out.  Two of the things he has noted particularly matched my own experience, so I have quoted them here.  (Just because I love the English in general doesn't mean I don't notice things about them I don't like).  But most of the experiences he has had are not the same as the ones I have had.

[quote begins from Jon Tillman, "Thirteen Things I Thought I Knew About England"]

  • 2.  Multiculturalism: As an American there is a special type of shame we carry for our recent openly racist past and the lingering inequalities in our society. I expected the UK to be something of a model for racial/cultural integration and harmony, especially given how much the British press seems to go on about being the first to abolish the slave trade and how many languages are spoken in London. What I wasn’t prepared for was that in all of those 300 or so languages, the most oft-uttered phrase in London is “Fuck off back home, then!”...
  • 4.  Anti-Americanism: ...I expected quite a bit of overt anti-American sentiment, and all I have encountered is bemusement and disbelief at the idea that someone would voluntarily move out of the States and into the UK, and London at that! Of course, there could be tons of anti-Americanism thrown my way by cultured Brits that I, as an American, am too daft to notice, British disapproval consisting mostly of thinking nasty thoughts about someone while not looking at them or changing one’s facial expression.

[quote ends]

Continue reading "More Lessons in British Culture from an American in England. Instructive!" »

February 19, 2007

The Mil Millington Website and Related Millington-Based Goodness.

Graffiti If you call yourself an Anglophile, test out your understanding of the English and your tolerance for the British love of light-hearted irony even in the most sacred relationships by reading what remains of columnist/author Mil Millington's  webpage, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About.  But first, to keep from making yourself look foolish by firing off an angry response or a lengthy screed of relationship advice, read my comments in "The Flatland Chronicles" here

December 13, 2006

The Flatland Almanack Honors list: Big Love for Gordon Ramsay.

Enamel_1I've actually written quite a few tributes to Gordon Ramsay, but they seemed to belong better in my television blog than here.  Let's face it, Ramsay---consummately Scottish-with-inexplicable-estuary-accent as he is---is a man of the Age.  He belongs wherever he is.

I can't help blogging about his show.  I've created a whole Ramsay-based category. TO JUMP TO THE RAMSAY FILES, CLICK HERE .

October 10, 2006

The Office (US): A tribute & a retraction.

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I am a die-hard, committed fan of the original British version of The Office. Season 1 of the American version didn't really grab me (though I enjoyed it); the six episodes we had were not enough to distinguish the show and enable it to hit its stride. That happened in Season Two. A full American season enabled the show to break new ground and really showcased the brilliance of these really very different characters.

I said in an earlier note (last summer, I think) that I didn't think that the American version really rose to the level of the British version.  The second season completely changed my mind.

It's a brilliant show that ought to be enjoyed on both sides of the Atlantic, as much for the differences as the similarities. I discuss it here.

August 12, 2005

"God is an Englishman. (He lives upstairs---but we don't mention him)."

Metallicsheen   (published on August 12, 2005 in "The Flatland Oracles")

With one or two exceptions, all of the English people I’ve personally encountered seem to regard God as if he were a slightly senile Uncle who lives in the attic and whom you must keep around out of common decency until he’s gone but whom you never to mention, also out of common decency.

             “Why not?” I asked.


              “I just can’t,” said my husband. “I don't.  I’m not comfortable talking about these things. I find it tasteless.”

             “Tasteless or distasteful?” I asked sullenly.

            “Both, actually, now that you mention it,” he said. “When people bring up God in the middle of a conversation, I’m embarrassed for them.  I don't know where to look.”

            “As if they were dropping names,” I said, thinking of a line from one of Salinger’s novels (Franny and Zooey? Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters? One of those two.)

Continue reading ""God is an Englishman. (He lives upstairs---but we don't mention him)."" »

August 11, 2005

The Glaring Game (Part 2)--Nature or Nurture?

Metalbutton32 [first published in "The Flatland Oracles" on August 11 2005]

The author of Dick Jones' Patteran Pages  has very kindly commented in response to my previous rant to set me straight about a couple of points of distinction between Yanks and Brits.  I had complained at surprising length (I mean that the length was surprising to me personally) of the English deployment of the glare as a weapon of social chastisement.  I was actually on my way to building up--as a separate issue---to a further complaint about the British preference for addressing solecisms by what an English friend refers to as 'polite and tactful indirectness' and I was planning to refer to as 'passive-aggressiveness.'  This note anticipated the issue and sorted it all right out. 

As an Englishman I might be able to help you with the glaring issue. There is an inbuilt assumption amongst the English ....that all sentient beings beyond a certain age (10, 11, 12?) should know, through a combination of race memory & nurture, what is acceptable & what isn't. Amongst their own, when the glare alone fails to communicate (& only deep sleep, advanced drunkenness or, of course, blindness could account for this), a sotto voce murmur of "Not appropriate, old chap/m'dear" would be used. A friend of mine of noble blood said that her Great Aunt employed - with merciful rarity - the word 'unsuitable'. When my friend was on the receiving end of this deadly word (an unequivocal glare gaving failed to register), the mortification was extreme.

I'm afraid that the kind of directeness & candour that you represent as admirable in your fellow Americans would be simply inappropriate in decent society.

'Very accurate,' said my husband, when I read it to him.

Continue reading "The Glaring Game (Part 2)--Nature or Nurture? " »

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