I try not to blog too much about my cats, but I don't think it's right to leave them out of it completely when they are such a big part of my life. After all, I've been divorced and I've been widowed, but I have never been catless. And, as a matter of fact, Nick feels the same way about them. He's the one, not me, who refers to them as our "babies." I decided to join in a new meme called "Cats on Tuesday." We'll see how it goes.
Since I don't want to become the owner of a "Kitty Blog," I decided to let the kitty write the kitty blog. Okay? Okay. Here goes: Flat Cat's Insecurity Problem.
People are always asking me why my name is Flat Cat because I'm, like, anything but FLAT. Even though I'm the baby of the family (I'm only two) I am way bigger than Lydia or Sam (<enemies). That guy who lives with us started calling me "Flat Cat" when I was a baby kitten because I used to like to crouch down flat like a tiger or a lion when I was playing. That's how it got started.
My real name is "Caligula" which is
some other language and means "Little Boots." It was my first name,
but nobody could get used to calling me that, even though it was
supposed to be "Cal" for short. Then when I got older and very
muscular like now the lady who lives here wanted to call me "Orca" or
"Shamu" which I don't know what they mean but which sound way cooler
than "Flat Cat." The guy who lives here wouldn't agree to use them
though, so "Flat Cat" stuck, though the lady who lives with us calls
me "Chubby Boots" a
lot of the time, which I don't like. It's an insult! Also, Sam and
Lydia sometimes call me---you guessed it---"Fat Cat"---but only behind
my back, man. Like I said, I am way bigger than they are. I weigh
almost 22 pounds (it's mostly muscle though!).
I am not, like,"chubby" like at all. I am very big-boned and muscular and very, like, fluffy,
which means that I am really cute when I roll on my back and show my
tummy. In the first photo I am posing next to a fancy cushion like one of those wussy calendar cats Lydia wishes she
was so you can't really see it, but check out the next two. When I lie
on my back (which I always do when I sleep), no one can resist rubbing
my tummy. You can see why.
This picture shows how cute I am when I sleep on my back which I always do, and when I wake up and want my tummy rubbed. All I have to do is just roll around and purr a little bit! Sometimes people try to rub my tummy when I DON'T want them to! It is irritating!
You can see that I don't look at all like a
beached whale! I look like a powerful cat of the jungle who is not
afraid of ANYTHING! And I am NOT afraid of anything except for people
sneezing or looking at me funny!
So you can see that I am NOT fat, right? I'm not!
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