The Catland Chronicles

The Friday Poetry Corner. LIMERICKS BY FLAT CAT! (THEY RHYME, UNLIKE LYDIA'S STUPID POEMS!)

Sampan is a Cat who is BORING!
Whenever he talks I start snoring!
He pretends to know stuff!
But it's really just guff
You won't miss if you just start ignoring!.

[I am  mad at him because he won't wash my ears!]

The Friday Poetry Corner. HAIKU BY LYDIA.

Okay, so the lady said if I would give her permission, she would, like, publish my haiku in our blog and at first I was all, hello??? I am a sensitive artiste who does not write for fame, and then she was like, but what about promoting your modeling career and your portfolio and proving that you aren't like, just a pretty face?  So then I was like, well okay if you really  think it will help my career?  Because you have to put yourself out there, you know? 

No pain no gain.  So anyways, I present:

Why I Hate Flat Cat.
A nap aborted
Fiendish claws tear at my tail
Rake away my dreams

To a Fellow "Meezer's" Bright Return (by Sampan, Lydia, and Flat Cat).

Dear Megan:  My Cats wished to post this note to you at their blog to salute your relationship with Teacup and to offer you what consolation they can. 

Sam is NOT a SAINT! PROOF by Flat Cat!

I like Sam most of the time because he used to wash me when I was a kitten and he will still wash me now if I go and sit next to him and wait.  I don't like washing myself, it gives me hairballs! 

Besides, I am very fluffy and big-boned and it takes a long time and it is hard for me to wash my tummy because I am very muscular.  Sam LIKES to groom me, it makes him feel important and everybody pets him and praises him and makes a big fuss about him which is what he likes.  It is one reason they think he is a saint. 

Cats on Tuesday. Flat Cat Presents: More of Stupid Lydia's So-Called Portfolio

So I am in trouble because Lydia called me Blobby Tail so I chased her and we had a fight.  And I, like, won because I am much more muscular and am not a little squally girlie cat!

The lady said my punishment is I don't get to do my usual Tuesday blog because I have been bad, but I have NOT been bad!  She called me "Blobby Tail" so she deserved for me to bite her neck!  I do NOT have a blobby tail!

Flat Cat and Sam Disagree; Two Limericks by FLAT CAT.

The lady made this picture which she says is how I look when I have catnip.  We don't get catnip often.  It is a treat and in our house, it is the man who always gives out treats.  He keeps the catnip in a glass cupboard.  When we hear the cupboard door open we always run from wherever we are because we, like, hardly EVER get treats.