The Catland Chronicles

Further Pictures from my Retrospective! Lydia. \~~^..^ (c) Lydia 2007.

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The lady is still, like, really busy and we STILL don't know what's going on with her.  Flat Cat is sulking---his ears have been back for like days and he won't blog--- and Sam has been holed up meditating 24/7 because he thinks the lady is going to be going away, who knows for how long, and when that happens, he really can't deal.  I don't like it either, but in my most recent life (when I was a Beatnik), the lady who lived with me was always disappearing and then coming back when I'd pretty much given up on her. She used to leave me outside to fend myself when she was away, but that's a whole, like, other story.  The point is:  you have to adapt.   Then you can, like, punish her later when she gets back. 

Cats on Tuesday. I am MAD AT THE LADY.

The lady said this weekend I could blog on Monday but on Monday she got a new Project and I could not blog on Monday!  Then she got a new project today, Tuesday!  She says she won't have time to let us visit other Cats like we usually do and that we may have to have a "hiatus" for a couple of weeks which means NO BLOGGING.  It is not fair, I only just got a Blog and now she is saying MAYBE NO BLOGGING FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS. 

Cats on Tuesday. Flat Cat Presents: More of Stupid Lydia's So-Called Portfolio

So I am in trouble because Lydia called me Blobby Tail so I chased her and we had a fight.  And I, like, won because I am much more muscular and am not a little squally girlie cat!

The lady said my punishment is I don't get to do my usual Tuesday blog because I have been bad, but I have NOT been bad!  She called me "Blobby Tail" so she deserved for me to bite her neck!  I do NOT have a blobby tail!

Cats on Tuesday. Flat Cat Still Doesn't Have a Blog.

  The lady who lives with us STILL won't give me a blog.  She says it will never, ever happen.  I thought my internet fans would, like, start a letter writing campaign but nobody even cares!  All the blogging cats who are already famous just care about themselves like the show business cats in that song the lady plays all the time:  "Show Business Cats" by "Steely Dan."  She dances around the room to it when nobody else is home, which is how the lamp got broken (she tried to blame it on the Cats, but I don't think the man who lives with us believed her).  We all like it when she dances because she can't, like, keep her balance at all! And she sings along with the music which is also hilarious!

Cats on Tuesday. Flat Cat Discusses Cat Theology and Cat Heaven; Reviews "The Three Lives of Thomasina."

Today I am going to blog about Cat Heaven.  I only remembered it last weekend.  The man showed a film for all the cats of the house.  It was called "The Three Lives of Thomasina."  When I saw the film, it reminded me.  It's one of those things you forget sometimes. 

Cats on Tuesday. Flat Cat's Blogless Existence.

You are not going to believe this, right?  After I helped her write her stupid blog for two Tuesdays in a row the lady says I can't have a blog of my own!  She says I have to share with her.  It is unfair, she just wants to exploit me when she can't think of anything else to write!

I have been blogging for only two Tuesdays and I already have WAY more comments than the lady so I think she should let me have a blog of my own.  I don't think she will though.  She thinks one kitty blog once a week on Tuesdays is enough.  It is unfair!  Dude, I am, like, an internet celebrity! 

Cats on Tuesday. The Unfairness of Flat Cat's Life. (Imported from The Flatland Chronicles).

Hello, it's me again, Flat Cat.  Since I'm new here I thought I'd show you my house. 

Five people live here:  me, Sam, and Lydia (<<ENEMY), and a lady and man.

Here I am in the cats' room.  We have our own room!  It has, like, a cat tree in it and beds and cushions for us to sit in.  We have our own sofa where nobody else is allowed to sit, unless there is company and then, like, we let them stay in our room. 

This is me sitting on the sofa!  I am posing in one of the "cat magnets" the man buys for us.  They are all over the house, but I don't really use them much except when I am modelling.  I don't fit in any of them because I am so, like, muscular and fluffy.  In the living room, I have a special bed, but I don't like it much because it's off in a corner.  I like to sleep in the big chair, but the lady is always taking it away from me because she likes to sit in it too.  It is unfair because she does it when I was there first.  I would let her sit on my sofa if she got there first.  And I always let her guests stay in my room.  It's very unfair!

Cats on Tuesday for April 3, 2007 (Imported from The Flatland Chronicles).

I try not to blog too much about my cats, but I don't think it's right to leave them out of it completely when they are such a big part of my life.  After all, I've been divorced and I've been widowed, but I have never been catless.  And, as a matter of fact, Nick feels the same way about them.  He's the one, not me, who refers to them as our "babies."  I decided to join in a new meme called "Cats on Tuesday."  We'll see how it goes.               

Since I don't want to become the owner of a "Kitty Blog," I decided to let the kitty write the kitty blog.  Okay?  Okay.  Here goes:  Flat Cat's Insecurity Problem.