The Flatland Chronicles

Ricky Gervais & Gordon Ramsay

Ricky Gervais shares marketing tips for a candy bar called 'Plopp,' a 'cock-flavoured bouillon,' and a vodka called 'Spunk.'

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Soundtracks of My Life: "What Will We Do with a Drunken Sailor?"

My previous, and late, husband Don, who spent years and years in the British Merchant Marines, used to sing this traditional folk song song---generally with substitute words made up for the occasion.  I've heard a million different sets of words.  Shortly after I heard it for the first time, I went through a period when I couldn't get away from it.   Even the Animaniacs, which I used to watch with my stepchildren, had a version.

I decided to collect a few different versions of it here, in his honor. 

Sir Ian McKellen in Extras: Acting Secrets of One of the World's Greatest!

This is my favorite scene, bar none, from Extras.  It's Ricky Gervais (as Andy Millman) and Sir Ian McKellern as himself!

Learn the secrets of the great Sir Ian McKellen's greatness!  Hear him speak Gandalf's greatest line!

Watch him school Ricky Gervais's character on the most subtle tricks of the trade.  Watch Gervais (as Andy Millman) struggle to prevent his trademark inscrutability from giving way to slack-jawed incredulity.  Watch him fail to conceal his alarm and consternation (always signalled by the trademark blinking and mouth-breathing)!

"Whatever Bubbles Bubbles Up....": Greatest Music Video EVER? (Directed by Michel Gondry)

I probably haven't mentioned several thousand times, but I am not a fan of music videos---I mean the contrived sort you see on video stations-- in general.  In general, as I've said, they tend more often than not to ruin the song for me.  They're never quite what I imagined.  Sometimes the director's sense of whimsy ruins the song forever.  At You Tube, Cap'n Fix comments:

An excellent music video that aired briefly on MTV in 1994 and soon became largely forgotten. This one was filmed in B&W to produce an old-timey ambience that works very well with the ragtime sound. Pay close attention to the continuity. The whole video was filmed with a steadycam, in one continuous shot...an unbelievably difficult task that only someone like Michel Gondry could pull off. This catchy vid is no longer in production and a rare treat to find, wherever it happens to bubble up ;-)

Seriously, isn't this fusion of rap and vintage jazz amazing?  And is this not a perfect wedding of music with imagery?  Nicholas, who doesn't like any music that wasn't recorded during a very narrow period, was impressed by the video.  But of course:  Michel Gondry.

I saw it in 1994 and have never, ever forgotten it.  I was thrilled to find it.  It should never be lost or forgotten!  And here it is: 

Bessie Tucker: Twenties Barrelhouse Blues

Courtesy of the indispensable Yazoo Records, I first heard Bessie Tucker sing "Fort Worth and Denver Blues (click here for a sample)."  Here voice blew me away.  Astonishing....  Who is she, you might wonder?

Very little is known of the classic blues belter Bessie Tucker, a product of the folk and field holler vocal traditions of her native East Texas region. A woman whose petite frame belied the earthy power of her voice, her legend is largely founded on a bawdy 1928 Memphis session for the Victor label on which she was accompanied by pianist K.D. Johnson; the date yielded her best-known track, "Penitentiary" (sung in honor of an institution to which she was reportedly no stranger). A 1929 date followed, at which time Tucker disappeared from performing, apparently for good; no data exists on the later events of her life. ~ Jason Ankeny, All Music Guide (Answers.com)

One more Species Says Good-bye: Watch It Happen

Many people don't realize that we are in the midst of a massive species die-off.  The loss of species diversity may ultimately be more of a threat to the eco-net than global warming.  In the meantime, we're losing so many of the animal  people who share the planet with us.  One reason I miss Steve Irwin so much was because of his optimism:  his conviction that you could change things on a large scale by working locally.

Heart-breaking, this is.  From Celsias ("Cooling the Planet One Project at a Time"). 

[W]e hear of the demise of various species often now, yet for most of us, it falls into a part of our mind relegated for things that are either not relevant to us, or to that area in our brain where we store thoughts we don’t know how to deal with, or that we decide are not our problem. There’s no heartbreak, no tears, no wave goodbye. We’re detached, separate, unfeeling.

Today the BBC ran an article on the Panamanian Golden Frog (technically it’s a toad, but let’s not split hairs). It’s an amazing piece of footage of the final wave goodbye (literally and figuratively) of a beautiful creature few ever came to know. Watch the clip.

The whole species is now extinct in Panama - this was one of the last remaining populations. Its final wave was in our programme. — BBC

Fats Waller: "Ain't Misbehavin'"

Fats Waller, one of my husband's heroes, just before he died (1943) at the age of 39.  He died of pneumonia on a train.  Fats Waller plus a lovely singer named Myra Johnson in a mock catfight; what could be better?   I couldn't find out much about Myra Johnson, beyond the fact (I got this from a book of my jazz-loving husband's) that she recorded with Boyd Senter and his band in 1938.  She recorded two sides.  That's all I could learn.. 

Anyway, here's one of the great jazz classics:

I couldn't love this video any more than I do.  I hope that the current generation of African-Americans will rediscover this irreplaceable and revered musical heritage soon, soon, soon.  Such elan, my God.  Bring back the Delta blues and authentic jazz, 21st Century style!

I'm doing my part to spread the love.

Iconic Carmens: A Study in Variations on a Theme

I'm not comparing the technical proficiency of these singers and do not intend to comment.  Everyone has an iconic Carmen.  These are some different conceptions of her.  Back in the day when I hoped to make myself a singer, I wanted so badly to grow up to be her.  I had the idea of playing her with wit rather than the smouldering, half-threatening seductiveness that is usually her lot.

However, speaking of seductive....opera doesn't get any grander than this:  Callas singing anything at all.  I not only love her voice; I love the way her face changes into Carmen's the minute she starts singing.  But her voice is not the voice of the True Carmen as I secretly conceive her.  Callas's voice is too pure, like liquid light.  I admit that she really puts across the sexual intensity.  I don't know.  It's pretty damn compelling.

Carmen's ought to be rich and rough, like certain types of red wine.  She's a virago.  She's got an almost masculine sensuality.  That's why poor Don Jose has no chance against alpha dog Escamillo, the bullfighter.

Frankly, Lori-Kaye Miller's voice is more in line with my idea of Carmen's.  I like a lot more mezzo in Carmen's soprano.  And there's that slightly ragged edge.  Je l'adore!!!

On the other hand, here's a very seductive version featuring Julia Migenes, though (speaking as a mere viewer of this one scene), I'd prefer a more highly-colored set.  This is like Carmen as imagined by Miles Crane: all beige everywhere:  ecru, wheat, ivory, etc. etc.  Meh. 

Romanian soprano Angele Gheorghia sings it.  She's extremely beautiful in that "old Hollywood"  way.  It's not because she's Romanian, but something about her hungry expression as she sings that suggests to me a new permutation on an old theme:  Vampire Carmen.  That would be awesome....Say she first turns Don Jose into a vampire and then he stakes her at the end.... Anyway, a beautiful voice and a beautiful singer and another great version.

Iterations: My Wednesday Meme. 12 Paintings that Tell or Suggest a Disturbing Story.

Today I've decided that my iteration will consist of 12 of my favorite paintings.  Since I am sensitive about copyright, the links will have to do!

They aren't in any particular order.   I am just listing them as they occur to me. 

All of the paintings I've listed are paintings that tell or relate to a story.  I love abstract art as well, but these are narrative paintings, photographs of a moment frozen in time. 

Random Link of the Day. "A Stifled, Drowsy Unimpassioned Grief": The Paintings of Edward Hopper.

Today's link is something really good: a slideshow from Slate Magazine of the paintings of Edward Hopper called "The Secret World of Edward Hopper."  I fell in love with Hopper in college.  I even wrote a poem about the poem called "Morning Sun"  Sadly, the picture isn't included in the slideshow, but at least you'll see when you look at Sun in an Empty Room that few could paint sunlight like Hopper.  Later on, when I started making photographs, I used to try for similar effects.