Cats on Tuesday. The Unfairness of Flat Cat's Life.

                                                                              

Hello, it's me again, Flat Cat.  Since I'm new here I thought I'd show you my house. 

Five people live here:  me, Sam, and Lydia (<<ENEMY), and a lady and man.

Here I am in the cats' room.  We have our own room!  It has, like, a cat tree in it and beds and cushions for us to sit in.  We have our own sofa where nobody else is allowed to sit, unless there is company and then, like, we let them stay in our room. 

This is me sitting on the sofa!  I am posing in one of the "cat magnets" the man buys for us.  They are all over the house, but I don't really use them much except when I am modelling.  I don't fit in any of them because I am so, like, muscular and fluffy.  In the living room, I have a special bed, but I don't like it much because it's off in a corner.  I like to sleep in the big chair, but the lady is always taking it away from me because she likes to sit in it too.  It is unfair because she does it when I was there first.  I would let her sit on my sofa if she got there first.  And I always let her guests stay in my room.  It's very unfair!

This is my older brother, Sam.  He's okay, I guess.  He always hogs most of the attention and gets jealous if anyone pets me.  You can see him standing on the stairs here, looking down at the man.  He wanted the man to go up the stairs and pet him, which also unfair!  I, like, started a tradition of sitting on the stairs when I want to be petted.  It's my petting step but now Sam always tries to get there before I do.

He's waiting on the petting step for the man to finish taking the picture and come up to pet him.

I was pissed off that he did this so afterward we had a fight.  But we don't fight that often.  Sam and I usually get along; it is Lydia who is my enemy.   

Sam has very weird feet with a lot of extra toes.  He hates for anyone to look at them.  We never mention them.  He's very sensitive about it.   

  This is me sitting in my rightful place on the petting step.  We have, like, a rule in the house that if I am sitting on the petting step everyone has to stop and pet me before they can go up the stairs.  It is like a toll that you have to pay.  It is the rule!

The yellow shiny thing is a ribbon the lady tied on the stairs.  She thought we would like to play with it, but we are all, like, too old for that!  She treats us all like kittens!  When I'm in the chair before her, she picks me up and moves me or sits down anyway so I have to move.  She also sneezes sometimes and then laughs when I run away.  It's very irritating, but we have to let her live here.  She owns all the food. 

The next picture is Lydia, who is my enemy.  Everyone always goes on about how, like, isn't Lydia so pretty and her neck is so long and she has such pretty eyes.  I don't think she's pretty, like, at ALL. 

She is just ordinary, if that.  She's, like, very vain though.  When she saw this photograph, she got really torqued because she's licking her nose and it makes her neck look short.  She doesn't know I'm blogging about her now.  Ha!

  I think it is a PERFECT picture.  She is horrible.  I hate her.  When I was a kitten and would sit on the lady's or the man's lap, she'd walk past, reach up, and knock me off.  Then she'd just keep on walking like nothing had happened.  They didn't even punish her!  But now when I try to show her who's boss by chasing her around until I can get hold of her to bite her neck I get in trouble every time because she's a whiny cry-kitty and squalls!   It's really unfair, man.  Everything around here is SO UNFAIR.

Comments

[Gattina]

Poor Flat Cat ! I really pitty you, having such a hard life. Indeed a own room is not so nice than the living room and it's much more fun to scratch on carpets in there or even throw up when you have eaten too much treats ! Arthur the only man in the cat family has a hard life too, each time he wants to be friendly with his sisters he gets a paw slap !

[Celeste]

Poor baby. Life is just so tough!

[srp]

Poor Flat Cat, just think what it is like to share your own home with six, count them, SIX interlopers that just showed up one day and never, every went away. Now they sit in my mom and dad's lap and I have a human sister that I never asked for and one of those big cats keeps following me and wanting to sleep where I am. Thank goodness they go out to the sunroom at night and I get my daddy all to myself.

Maggie

[Angelo]

Don't worry Flat Cat, it's probably not as bad as you think. It's hard being the youngest I guess, maybe your elder siblings will grow out of it eventually. Just stay as sweet as you are :) Thanks for showing us your house! Happy Tuesday :)

[Mom of 3]

You have a rough life Flat Cat, except that petting step thing. I shall have to try that too. You should move to our five-star-luxury-kitty-resort. Life is good here!

Ms. Fuzzy

[Diva Kitty]

Hey - you look like me!

[Kuanyin]

You really do have a gift for writing humor! This was very funny!

[John Temple-Smith]

Hey, Flat Cat! You really do whinge too much! This is the Man's Pa & Ma here and we've stayed in your home, but not in your room (and, by the way, it's a house not a flat). The whole place revolves around you three and you're loved to distraction - so what's your big beef?

[Emma]

How true is that?? I can just picture Flat Cat scowling at me for taking his sofa away when I stayed with you!! Hehe, no petting for him when I next come to the states!

[Taz]

did you dictate and get maggie to type it? becuase my cat has problems with the size of her paws when trying to type. ;)