The Flatland Chronicles

Soundtracks of My Life: The Doll Song & Related Weirdness from 'The Tales of Hoffman'

I love Tales of Hoffman---one of the few operas I've actually performed (or participated in as a member of the chorus)---and so I've already posted about it twice:  the first time, about the sometimes-omitted 'Giulietta's Tale' (decadent Venetian courtesan); the second, about Hoffman's gender-bending Muse-disguised-as-man sidekick, Nicklaus[se].  Because I wasn't sure what I wanted to say, I decided to wait a bit before writing about the first act, or posting any videos.

The story begins with the writer  Hoffman---accompanied by his sidekick Nicklausse--- hanging out in a bar with a lot of German students, all bent on getting as drunk as possible.  After a drinking song, and one absurd story about a dwarf called Kleinzach, Hoffman begins ranting (he does that a lot) about the beautiful singer, Stella, with whom both he and his rival Count Lindorf are in love.  One of the students has the temerity to mention that after all, they have their loves too.  Hoffman responds by dissing the ladies:  one of them, Gretchen, as an inert puppet with a heart of ice.  It's part of the lead-in to the stories of his loves, the first of whom is---guess what---an inert doll with a heart of ice. 

Starving Elephant Artisans (Elephants that Can---and Do---Paint)

Here is a wonderful and very touching video of elephants painting.  Yes, painting.   Apparently they like to.  The organization that posted the video writes:

Can your elephant paint? Watch this elephant, rescued from abusive treatment in Burma, now paint an amazing self portrait. You'll be amazed at how his talent unfolds.

So touched by their horrific backgrounds and loving personalities, ExoticWorldGifts.com now supports, "Starving Elephant Artisans" by selling their paintings so they can continue to have a new life in Thailand.  (ExoticWorldGifts)

It isn't a hoax or anything.  There are a number of videos posted of these painting elephants.

DAMN, that's cute (a CO Update) (Link o' the Day!)

First of all, you need to check out Cute Overload's "Best of 2007" posting.  How did I miss this?  It starts with the cutest birdie on the wing shot ever. 

Latest CO favorites:

Red Paaaaandaaaaaaa COMING TO GET YOU  ("What's that?" my husband asked.   Whatever: it's so darn cute it'll make your eyes water)

I Hate My Squirrel Boss

A Check List (tiny circular pup)

Full and Total Sproing-a-tude (Hover Pup)

Can't Wait for the Movie (thumb-sized baby tamarin monkeys)

Kitty Monkey Dog Bear? (strangest looking cute animal ever, like something from an animated series, but REAL)

Emo Zebdonk (a literal half-zebra)

"That seal will laugh at anything"

Moby Dick & Sidekick, the seal  (Really:  a seal grooms a white whale)

"Leave Spongebob Alone!"

Okay, I shook my head along with everyone else over this rather sweet young man's "Leave Britney Alone!"  Not that he isn't right; it was the lack of proportion, perspective, etc. that everyone else saw reflected.  I think she needs help too.  But then, so did (and so do) the monks of Burma.  For the monks, this might have been a proportionate response.  Or for the entire population of some third world countries.

But this----this is TRULY affecting.

And before you shake your head in judgment, please watch this first:

Random Links O' the Day: Elf Yourself

   This is an Office Max website.  It turns out that elves have no necks.  I find it....disturbing.  But funny.  But...disturbing.  It's the clapping.  It sounds sarcastic. 

JibJab lets you "elf yourself" (as it were) so that you can be the star of various animated greetings.  The best animated greeting I have ever seen is JibJab's "Menorah Hora" as presented at Zenmomma's.  I watched it half a dozen times and laughed and laughed.  The Hannukah card with Hora is---in my opinion---way funnier than the Christmas ones.  It's something about the fixed smiles (well, they would be) on the characters' faces combined with the jollity and animatedness of the spindly little legs and the shortness of the arms.   (Of course it helps that every single person in this family is really cute.)

Morris Dancing (Out of Season) & The Full Monty

I always thought it was a May Day fertility dance dating back to pagan times, but Wikipedia begs to differ.   Shut up, Wikipedia. 

Brilliant. 

Note to the Brits:  there are some traditions you must NEVER allow to die out.

I don't know why my mind went there today.  This is "Essex based 'Cotswold' morris side dancing at Great Warley Spring Fayre on Headley Common, 26th May 2007 (near Brentwood, Essex, UK)."  Hurray! 

I like to imagine them practicing it.  And I like to imagine the recruiting process.   Someone should make a film of it, similar to "The Full Monty"  (my all-time favorite film).

Random Link O' the Day: Bad Plastic Surgeries Part 2

< Get "Atia" by Damozel  | As long as we're on the subject, I found this site via Stumbleupon and I've never been able to get it out of my head.

Physical vanity is not a major fault of mine, but I admit that I recently looked into the cost of repairing extensive sun damage on my shoulders and around my neck.  The laser surgery would eliminate the blotchiness and even restore the collagen (be damned if I know how that words).  Anyway:  $800 a go, and I could maybe rise to that, but it would take five goes.  For $4000 my husband and I could do a lot of things we'd like to do.  It would buy a couple of  tickets to England  and---with the current exchange rates---maybe pay our expenses (for example).

Blogcombing "On a Limb with Claudia": Bad Plastic Surgeries

<Get "In re: Servilia" by Damozel |  Another of my favorite blogs (as you'll see from the list on the left...) published this submission to "Thursday 13" (world's most awesome meme) several weeks ago and I just CANNOT get it out of my head: Plastic Surgery shouldn’ts.   

"Ok, I’m a native California," the note begins.  "In fact, I’m a fourth generation native Californian. Which is to say that I have seen a lot of plastic surgery in my life. Hell, there’s a woman who claims to have raised me but I don’t recognize her… at all."  This is one of the most awesome openings of an Thursday 13 post ever.

Cute Overload: Long-Eared Jerboas ("Part Moth") Don't Make the Cuteness Cut; Admitted to CO on a Technicality!

<Get "Baby Tropical Fish (Violet)" by Damozel | Cute Overload's Chief Cuteologist Meg Frost, having been inundated with photos and videos of the long-eared Jerboa, stunned the world by asserting that they did not technically qualify as "cute,"  asserting the "tiny ears" rule of cuteness.   

People, this animal is not cute. [looking over glasses in lab coat] Let me tell you why. Rule #17, paragraph 14, item 7 SPECIFICALLY STATES that 'tiny ears' are cute. Rule #15 talks about a small ear to head ratio.

 

Random Link[s] O' the Day: The World's 10 Most Puzzling Ancient Artifacts/"Out of Place Artifacts"

<Get "Ancient Lamps" by Damozel | First, check out "The 10 Most Puzzling Ancient Artifacts."  The one that interested me most was a stone discovered near Ica, Peru.   The stone included with the article shows---quite, quite clearly---a man riding a triceratops.  Yes, I know: nonsense.  Nevertheless, my husband, not the most patient man, sat entranced while I read them aloud.