Imagine that instead of President of the U.S. of States now, Bush is the star of a 1970's film about an engagingly self-deprecating, down to earth family guy who gets elected, becomes president, and sees off the Yippie agitator, the drugged-out hippie guru, the unibrowed Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, the man-hating hairy women's libber who won't stop quoting Andrea Dworkin, the disillusioned young senator who almost gets caught in a corrupt lobbyist's web of corruption, and the leader of the Black Panthers by his unfailing simple goodness, wry sense of humor, and unflinching moral clarity.
Whenever he's challenged by his detractors and their followers, he just serves them up a heaping helping of homespun wisdom with a side order of paternal kindness, and the followers all leap out of their seats to give him a standing O, because it turns out that all they ever REALLY wanted was their share of the American dream, and he's made them see that the path is both broad and straight: you just have to work hard, teach your children well, stay off drugs, stay in school, own a home, and go to church on Sundays. It's all so simple and they just never realized! And then they all boo their leaders off the stage and we see them slink away, humiliated. As they walk away in disgrace, the cheering grows louder and louder...
Cut to President Shrub sitting at his desk in the Oval Office, "TWO YEARS LATER." His new press secretary comes in and it's the Yippie agitator! Only he's cut off his hair and shaved his beard and cleaned up so he looks like a young James Brolin! And they go out for a drive and the impeccable chauffeur gets out with a smart salute and we see it is the former Chairman of the Presidium, who has defected and is now living the American dream! And while they are driving they pass a school, and the handsome, clean, articulate young black teacher looks up and waves and it's the leader of the Black Panthers who now looks like Barack Obama and all the kids cheer! And they pass a church where the cool minister, Father Trudeau, is standing out on the steps shaking hands with the congregation and it's the formerly drugged out hippie, who still looks just like Jesus and is now living a life dedicated to doing good!
And then the car turns up a long, long drive which turns out to be the approach of a beautiful mansion with spreading lawns and dogwood trees and azaleas in bloom all around it! And the chauffeur opens the door and the President and the First Lady get out and start to go up the stairs, but then the door bursts open, and it's the young senator the President saved from a life of corrupt dealing with lobbyists and he's married to the man-hating women's libber! Who now looks like a young Gloria Steinem instead of a young Andrea Dworkin! And she is holding a baby in her arms and smiling because she's learned that women have a role to play that is indispensable to the future of our democracy! And the baby is named "George Shrub Wannamaker" after the president!
And everyone hugs, and the senator's dog Lady comes out carrying a baby collie in her mouth wearing a little Uncle Sam hat because the President once said he'd always wanted a collie! And they all live happily ever after!
Think about that film---Mr. Shrub Goes to Washington---and then watch this.
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