A Right Wing Man's Plea: Right Wing Women, Please Stop Blogging

by John Q. Public  I've been thinking about this topic for weeks, but have hesitated to publish my views.  It is a controversial subject.  Even my powerful brothers of the far right dare not address it (though they certainly secretly think it).

These days, it is difficult to find a woman who understands what it means to be a lady.  Even Republican women, I am sorry to say---my ex-wife Judith is a tragic example--- seem to believe that they should be able to compete with men in the workplace, to hold political offices, and even to set up blog sites to offer political opinions.  It is time for women of the right to think about the example they are setting to the next generation of Republican women.  It is not a good one.

What finally pushed me over the edge was  Michelle Malkin's post about the military tribunal at Gitmo.  Michelle, please.  That is not a suitable topic for a button-cute  Republican lady and yet she has already received responses from several male right-wing bloggers that endorse her views without even a gentle hint to her that it would perhaps be best if she would stick to cheerleading and leave the heavy lifting for the men.  (Why don't more right wing blogging ladies dress up as cheerleaders, I wonder?  Or French maids? But I digress). 

Then the lovely (but somewhat intimidating and perhaps not altogether right wing) Ms. Althouse has written a post I don't really understand---she's a law school prof, I gather, so she often talks over my head---about Paris Hilton's video responding to McCain.  She's written another very long post about how Obama didn't tell Harvard law school he was black on his application and how we don't know what he thinks about affirmative.

Even though I can't find it in my heart to disagree with these well-intentioned ladies, it bothers me to see them behaving exactly like strident left-wing feminists.  For example, I had already written a post about affirmative action and Obama.  If Ms. Althouse wanted to discuss this issue, all she needed to do was link to my piece. 

It's political correctness run mad, and it is entirely the wrong note for the lovely ladies of the right.  I am sure that most of the distinguished male bloggers of the right agree with me about this, though none of them dares to say so.

I admit that I didn't see it coming.  I mean, I remember back in the Seventies Anita Bryant leading the fight against homosexual equality in Miami (sadly,she lost); and then Phyllis Schafly came along and sorted out the women's libbers (sadly, she lost).  I should have seen the handwriting on the wall.  There was a definite pattern:  a well-behaved conservative housewife emerges, makes a good-enough point, and then becomes so intoxicated by fame that even after she's said her piece, she won't shut up.  She forgets everything she's worked for.  But I just assumed those were isolated cases. 

Nothing prepared me for Ann Coulter whom I believe is the inspiration for many blogging hotties.   

When Ann Coulter first emerged, I admit that she frightened me.  As a man of the right, I am nervous around strident women, dislike ambiguity. and do not think long-legged blondes in little black dresses should have eyes like Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry.

I thought from the beginning that she should be seen much more and heard much less.  In fact, she should be more like the picture of her on my desktop---silent.  Still, Coulter seemed for awhile to be an anomaly. 

If it had stopped with Coulter (and the intellectual Laura Schlessinger, whom I always forget about), I could have tolerated it.  But the deep, manly voices of Instapundit, Gateway Pundit, Confederate Yankee,  Erik Erickson, Rush Limbaugh, the brave band of boys at The Jawa Report, the manly men of Powerline and Poligazette,  Patterico, Ace of Spades,  Allahpundit and Ed Morissey, are all but drowned out by the shrill melee of female voices.

Now these blogging ladies are everywhere, pointing fingers, screeching like harpies, and generally presenting themselves as very poor examples of what a lady should be:   Debbie Schlussel, Pam Atlas, Laura Ingraham, Kathryn Jean Lopez, Betsy,  Sister Toldjah, Marie Jon' [sic], and Melanie Morgan,

Thankfully, Robert Stacy McCain is man enough to speak out on behalf of right-wing men.  In a piece called "Equality is for Ugly Losers" (h/t to these guys), he says:

"Equality" is contrary to human nature. The human spirit naturally desires distinction, and anyone with a scintilla of ambition wishes not to be equal, but rather to be acknowledged in some way as superior. Only a mediocre soul would ever hope merely to be "equal."...

Frankly, chicks dig a misogynist oppressor. Which is to say, every genuinely intelligent woman recognizes feminism as a stinking heap of pseudo-intellectual manure. A guy who openly scoffs at feminist dogma thereby identifies himself as (a) smart enough to recognize the difference between truth and nonsense, and (b) brave enough not to kneel before false idols. Brains and courage -- like I said, chicks dig it.

Chicks also dig a sense of humor, as signifying the desireable qualities of confidence and cheerfulness. (Fun fact: Laughter and orgasm are both autonomic reflexes.)

As one of his commenters, called Smitty, so rightly puts it:

Boldly blazing beyond brass balls, triumphantly treading titanium testicle territory.

You go, dude.

I am not very bold as I don't have titanium testicles, so though I endorse the misogynist oppressor theory of Mr. "Other" McCain, I would hesitate to explain it to the faces of any of these ladies.

But I will say this:  ladies of the right, it is time for you all to step away from the keyboard.  Whereas liberal ladies have only the wussy weaklings of the libtard left, Republican men are strong.  Please let male bloggers get on with defending the flag against the constitution.

Please understand:  I am not saying that there is no place for Republican women in the blogosphere.  Women should certainly feel free to participate, for example, in the comments section provided by some right-wing male bloggers (see below).  Those whose talent for the trenchant phrase cannot be denied might perhaps find employment for their talents as comment moderators, or be permitted to write the occasional post as co-bloggers.  They could also do substantial service in the comments section of liberal blogs.

This would be an appropriate role for Republican ladies.  They should serve as helpmeets to male right-wing bloggers, not as competitors.

God did not intend ladies' voices to be raised in shrill bickering or to be shouting contumely at the liberal left.  Among other things, it subjects the fine ladies of the far right to cruel criticisms from lefty male bloggers such as this,  this, this, this, this, this, this, and so much more. 

As a Republican man, I naturally wish to smite the varlets who attack these lovely ladies.  Sadly, I have a chronic back condition, and in any case, it would be impossible  for one lone male blogger to punish  the perpetrators. 

The ladies who are the subject of these cowardly attacks deliberately expose themselves to insult.  They are the perfect example of victims who can and should be blamed for inviting the harm which they suffer.

Right wing ladies, please know your limits.  (If you do not understand what they are, please see the instructional videos linked in the previous sentence.)  Stand on the sidelines and hold our coats; even cheer us on.  But leave the verbal fisticuffs to the men and the screeching feminists of the left.

On a personal note: If any attractive right wing ladies happen to read this, be advised that I am divorced, 45, and look like an older, somewhat fatter Sean Hannity when I take off my glasses.  I am looking for a lady who looks like Ann Coulter when we're alone at home but otherwise dresses and behaves like Laura Bush.  It goes without saying that I'm looking for a lady who expresses herself in a truly womanly fashion (i.e., rarely).

PS.  My colleagues have pointed it out enough times already, so there is really no need for anyone else to do so:  I already realise I am no Jon Swift (he stands alone).

Mr. J.Q. blogs at Buck Naked Politics

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Comments

[Virginia H. Shanahan]

This has to be one of the funniest posts i've read in ages!

I'm rolling on the floor laughing my butt off- in a most lady like manner. LOL.

[skippy]

i was going to say, hey, you stole jon swift's act, but you beat me to the punchline!

very, very, very good.

[Wesley Mcgranor]

I'll be dang.

[viagra online]

Your needs, experiences, travel plans, skills and talents have taken a back seat to making sure the others around you are happy, safe, and nurtured on a daily basis. There is absolutely nothing pathetic about that. Kick him in the shin for me will ya, that ought to liven up the room!